Dimitri, the ladykiller

I don't normally post stuff like this, which may or may not be made up. It's the type of thing your annoying cousin or almost-friend from junior high would forward to you by email. But because I love my readers (you know who you are), I'll give you the option to listen to the following answering machine messages, which are allegedly real (though I can promise that you will laugh):

http://melodymaker.posterous.com/the-reason-some-girls-stay-single-very-funny

Dimitri, wherever you are, I hope you find the elegant woman you so clearly deserve.