I'm sad to report that yesterday, Wendy reported to me that she was falling in love with another man. It's true: his name is Edward (the tramp!), and he just so happens to be a vampire.
Yes, that's right, Wendy is the latest to fall victim to the charms of Stephanie Meyer's vampire romance, Twilight. Since last month, I've watched not one, but four of my family members (all female) find themselves debilitated and distracted by the apparent page-turner. Here are a few other examples of the book's power (with only the slightest of exaggeration):
- Jennie found herself glued to the book in a window seat while flying over the Hawaiian islands. "Are we there already?" she asked, oblivious that we had just crossed four time zones.
- Katie couldn't bring herself to come to the phone to talk to me about my wife's then-secret pregnancy because she was "more interested in vampires right now."
- Kristen purchased and finished Twilight and its sequel, New Moon, within three days time. She then promptly gave Jackson three days worth of neglected bottles.
- Most recently, Wendy bought or borrowed two pregnancy books, and quickly cast them aside for the more romantic persuadings of Edward and his infernal fangs. "I don't even remember that I'm pregnant when I'm reading about my hunky vampire!"
6 comments:
What? Is Wendy pregnant? How did that happen? By the way, congratulations again. That totally rocks!!!
Sorry about the spousal & sistoral (is that a word?) neglect. I say just slip a few drops of garlic potion in Wendy's milk glass & that may cure the vampire affection. If not, you're out of luck-& that really bites!
Just you wait Scott J, I'm lending Sunny the book.
One other comment Jay... maybe you husbands should invest in a pair of vampire teeth and sparkly pixie-dust. (Did I forget to mention that vampires sparkle in sunlight?)
I tried to put a steak through the book but it did not kill my wife's passion for the vampire.
I tried a porterhouse, a t-bone, and a tri-tip ... maybe I should have cooked them first.
Word on the street is that a male fan has been spotted. For his sake, I won't reveal his identity, but I will say that his namesake once chopped off a whole lot of arms...
Nothing wrong with appreciating superpowers, i.e. Spidey, Superman, Batman (somewhat), and of course, X-Men. Vampires are essentially Wolverine on steroids - unbreakable, way faster, jump higher. Sure he doesn't have claws or the ability to rejuvenate, however when your fists are deadlier than claws and you cannot be hurt, Logan's superpowers simply cannot compare. Caveat - nothing stated, written, or otherwise inferred herein, can, or will, be construed as a critique of Wolverine since he is still one of my favorite superheroes.
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